write back what is wrong, we move along

Yesterday upon the stair

I saw a man who wasn't there

He wasn't there again today

Oh how I wish he'd go away...

*

I needed one of these again.

I will not apologize for what I write here.

I don't care if anyone reads it

or if anyone likes it

but if you are reading this, you are in for one hell of a ride.

*

I'm this girl

with entirely too many emotions

who is merely shaped like an adult

who smokes like a broken toaster

who is a tirelessly motivated artist

who is inspired by everything around her.

I ask a lot of questions.

I love a lot of love.

*

Changes are crazy. Changing. Change. Ching Chang Chong. 

Fuck.

The universe is insane. We are insane for expecting anything different from it. "We are the universe experiencing itself." In the most beautiful and stressful and fragile and magical ways possible. Being human is fucking hard sometimes. There are emotions to feel, other humans to interact with and impress your energy upon, rules enforced by other humans just trying to do the best they can with what they've got. Just like you. 

I've found that 

the most attractive I have ever been to the people I want most in my life

is when I don't give a goddamn fuck about them.

So the best I can do to keep them around is do my best to act like they don't matter?

that 

hope springs eternal.

*

I am made of magic and melodrama

but I know what I want

and no matter where I go

(and I will go, before we know it)

I will still know it.

I should probably start buying cat food now

because I am destined to be that lady.

Is it stubborn to say that if I can't have the best I don't want to settle

Or immature to refuse to chase other opportunities that could never compare?

*

I named her Artemis because the name was stuck in my head for days

(since I saw her)

and then I finally did a little research.

Artemis and Apollo were twins, born on a set of twin islands in Crete that are real and still accessible today by only one port out of Greece. Islands that are separate, but appear as one from a distance. They are called Paximadia and are located in the Libyan Sea. 

Artemis was born first, and became a midwife to assist her mother in her brother's birth. Her mother being Leto, the girl Zeus cheated on Hera with and turned into a swan. Hera forbade her to give birth on the mainland or on an island, except these islands didn't give a fuck what Hera said. 

Artemis is the goddess of the moon, her brother the sun. She is the keeper of wild animals, goddess of the hunt and of children, of midwives and virginity and healing from pain and disease. 

She is a badass.

On her third birthday she asked Zeus for six wishes:

To always remain a virgin

To have many names to separate her from Apollo

One of these being Phaesporia, or Light Bringer

A golden bow and arrow and tunic so she could hunt

Sixty nine year olds to be her choir

20 nymphs to watch her hunting dogs and bow while she rested

and to rule the Mountains. She didn't want a city. She wanted the mountains.

Orion is the only one who could steal her heart.

*

I don't think she's me, I'm she me she's me she. 

I still am under the belief that I used to be a star

and then I lived briefly a few other times;

I remember a few of you

I feel a few of you...

But it definitely struck me and stuck with me far more than what's usual.

I believe that it's possible to remember

I believe that it's possible to forget

I believe that it's possible to ignore.

Some things are just destiny.

The universe has a funny way of working itself out.

I guess we'll see where we are in February.

*

Two more weeks of work and then a mini vacation for my brain...check.

back to pretending to not care about you at all

anyone out there?..

I miss you.

xx

Moon

I'll never not be..